Well hello! I’m loving all of the suggestions (and empathizers) to the paper dilemma! (Dun dun duuunnnn.)
Number 9,324 I love blogging – you peeps get me. :)
Reason 9,325 that I love blogging – because when something’s on my mind, I tend to yuck it up on my virtual notepad…this blog. And you guys put up with it. :) I’ve had a bit of an epiphany lately and I was inspired to write about it tonight.
It’s a big one…and it’s about time. It only took 35 years for it to happen.
I’ve decided to GROW UP.
Not too much, mind you. Cause grown ups don’t say “Squeezaaays” and “cauuute.” I’m guessing they don’t anyway. (I have it on good authority they do say “lurve” though.)
I guess it started when we started to get serious about paying off our mountain of debt. The more we’ve paid off, the closer we’ve gotten to becoming debt free – the more mature we’ve become. That whole “only spend what you have” thing kind of forces that.
It’s made me (us) be more accountable, spend wiser, delay gratification – all that annoying grown up crap. :)
A few weeks ago I realized I needed to do that in another area in my life as well. You see, I felt like I was growing – not up, but OUT. (No, I’m not pregnant.) ;)
It wasn’t so much the holiday weight that we all feel – I’ve just been putting on weight for months now.
Make that years.
No one I know sees it like I do, of course. But you know how that goes -- we’re our own worst critics. And I just felt like a SLUG. You know what I mean? Like a puffy slug. Not pretty. Or fun.
But it wasn’t until I was visiting our family doc a few weeks ago (for my second case of strep throat in six weeks) that it hit me…I have to start taking better care of myself.
I mentioned to the doctor that I felt like I was gaining weight like crazy, and we had an interesting talk about it. I told him I wasn’t doing anything different, but felt like I was gaining by the month.
And he said something that caused one of those “LIGHT.BULB.” (name that movie!) moments. His response?
“Well, that’s the point – you’re not doing anything different.”
I’m getting older and I can’t keep doing what I’ve always done. (I know 35 is still young, believe me. But 35 is not 25. And it’s certainly not 17. Dang it!)
I tell you what – I walked out of that appointment a different person. It finally hit me – I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
I’m pretty much addicted to soda:
(Oh sweet, sweet nectar.)
And I walked out of that doc’s office and gave up soda. I’ve tried it before and couldn’t do it for long. This time, it was cake. Almost twenty-something years of (at least) two sodas a day, and I just stopped.
I thought it would be hard, but something in me clicked this time. Every once and a while I’ll crave a soda and get one, but most of the time it doesn’t even taste good. The odd times it does, I just drink a tiny bit and that’s all I need.
More than three weeks in and I get the craving for it less and less.
I want to grow up and take care of my body. I take care of everyone else – our child, my husband (as much as he’ll let me!) and our HOUSE. But I don’t take time to take care of me.
I don’t know what’s hit me, but I’m tired of it.
So for the last three weeks, I’ve reintroduced myself to this one and her DVDs:
I’m not liking her very much right now…but I might in a couple months. If I can walk then.
I’ve been doing this again:
Aww, look how cute I look!
I kid! That’s not me. Yet. (Someday I’ll look that happy on the treadmill.)
And today, I did something I have dreaded for years. YEARS.
I got a mammogram.
Yes, I’m only 35 and I got my first mammogram. It’s not as unusual as you might think. I had a bump years ago that turned out to just a fluid-filled cyst (determined through an ultrasound). But because of that, the docs wanted me to get a baseline mammogram at 35 instead of 40.
I got the notice months ago, and kind of ignored it. I didn’t make it a priority. I didn’t think it applied to me. I thought, I am only 35.
And then a month ago I got news that a dear family member (who is just a few years older than me) found out she has breast cancer. She has a child younger than mine. She has to undergo chemo. She started shopping for wigs.
It’s rocked me to my core.
She is my new hero, by the way. Her most amazing attitude inspires me to be a better person – I hope to be like her when I (finish) growing up.
Because of her, I finally scheduled that mammogram.
Was it uncomfortable? Yep. Was it painful? Yep. But the uncomfortable and the painful lasted for mere seconds.
Was it worth it? YES.
It was time for me to act like the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that I am. I needed to grow up and started taking steps take care of ME.
This isn’t a new year’s resolution. It’s who I’ve decided to be from now on. It took me a LONG time to realize I need to put myself FIRST sometimes. I need to eat more responsibly, get more exercise and grow the heck up. :)
I don’t know the results of my mammogram yet, but we’re obviously praying for a standard letter in the mail next week, and not a call from the doc in a few days. :)
I’m not writing this to preach to any of you. I’m not trying to get anyone to exercise more or at all. I AM asking you to give yourself a few more minutes a day. I do want you to ask your doctor when you should get your first mammogram. If you’re over 40, I want you to schedule your mammogram.
Yes, I’m bossing you around. Yes, I want you to put yourself first, for 20 minutes a day. Or the hour out of your week it will take to get a mammogram.
I’m still a newbie at this, so I’m certainly no expert. But I know something for sure – I’m not going back. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I like it, and I plan to keep it up. :)
**I waffled back and forth about getting this personal on here. I mean, I never even mention the words “b.r.a.” or “u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r.” on this blog, just because of the wackos out there. IfyouknowwhatI’msayin. ;)
But I decided to put on my big girl u.n.d.i.e.s and just do it – write it and hit publish. I don’t hesitate to hit publish much, but this one has my finger hovering. :)
If it gets just one of you to make more time to take care of YOU for just a few minutes a day, it’ll be worth it.
And now…I am hitting…publish.